A Year After ‘A’s– Me trying to offer advice

I’m looking for guest posts once again! The guest post can be a recipe post, a “tips” on how to bake/cook something post or a nutrition related post. Just email it to qiting93@hotmail.com and I’ll get it up and going!

 

I got my A level results exactly a year ago. Hard to think I’ve managed to get through that. When I was a kid, I remember thinking that I would somehow die before getting my PSLE (Primary School Leaving Examinations) results because how the hell will I be able to survive in this damn world with horrible results when my friends and family and the society think so highly of me since I’m in the so called best class in a relatively good school? I got through that alive, fortunately, and lived to see my A level results. I wrote this after getting my results last year.

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Don’t do this.

Of course, this post is not all about me. It’s about you, the people who have just gotten your results and are wondering what to do about it.

If you did badly, sure, you can cry on the first day, but promise me. The next day you are going to get back on your feet and think about how you can make the best out of everything. Quit comparing your results with your friends. That’s not going to change anything.

Good results or not, think this through carefully. What is one thing you’ll sacrifice sleep for? What do you unknowingly willingly stay up all night for? Do you happily look up biology facts all night? Do you draw up dress designs till the break of dawn? Do you write program codes till your body fails to feel hunger or lethargy? Do you have one thing that you have so much passion for that it takes away all tiredness and cravings?

If you do, whether you have good results or not, I suggest you pursue it, or you’ll regret that you never did sooner or later. I know people who have gotten straight As yet decided to study Music. I know people who have gotten straight As who are studying graphic design. I know people like myself who did average yet managed to get into a faculty like medicine or law. In the end, it’s all that you do that decides what you’ll do. Because ten years later, you’ll realise that the ‘A’ levels really hadn’t meant anything. It had been a test, but not just an ordinary test. It had also been a test of your ability to cope with its results. Did you succumb to the expectations of you and end up with a job you loathe, or did you, in spite of incredible grades, decided to do something you love? Think this before you make your final decision: will I regret this choice I’m making ten years down the road?

When there’s a will, there’s a way.
You don’t have to settle for medicine or law or accountancy just because you get straight As, You don’t have to settle for Science just because you got poor grades. It’s your life, so live it! Don’t let society, your peers or even your parents decide your future. It’s your life, not theirs! A piece of paper can’t get you anyhere unless you know what to do with it. Paint your future, don’t let anyone else paint it for you. Good luck guys. If you need advice, feel free to drop me an email. I’ll be happy to help.

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A joke to lighten up the mood.

Oh and a late “Happy Birthday” to our dearest ACS (Anglo Chinese School Barker/Independent)! (Singapore, and especially the Singaporean females, thank you, for nurturing a breed of rich, hot and intelligent male variety to prosperous the nation. ) <insert some sarcasm> We are genuinely grateful.

Decadent Milo Layer Cake

I’m looking for guest posts once again! The guest post can be a recipe post, a “tips” on how to bake/cook something post or a nutrition related post. Just email it to qiting93@hotmail.com and I’ll get it up and going!

Warning: please do not read if you’re very prone to depression or to having suicidal thoughts. Scroll to the bottom for the recipe.

Sometimes, the person who seems to be happiest on the outside is the most depressed. Sometimes, the person who seems most patient on the outside is the angriest. Sometimes, the person who seems most outgoing is actually the most inconfident and lonely. Its sad, but its the truth.

even if you don't feel like dancing at all.
even if you don’t feel like dancing at all.

It all goes really well.

You learn to deal with it.

Hiding the pain becomes easy. When someone says something that hurts, you get used feeling the pain, hiding it inside and not letting it show at all. You learn to smile when someone says something or does something that hurts. They don’t know that what they say can hurt. You don’t want them to know. Until one day, you can’t take it anymore. The suppressing gives you headaches. Your depression is getting out of hand. Suicidal thoughts surface more often than ever before. You learn that suppression isn’t the answer to everything. You find it hard to smile a real smile or to genuinely find something funny. You remember the 5 years that you couldn’t smile at all. You don’t want it to happen again.

One of the troubles I’m having with this is this friend of mine. (I have no idea how I keep becoming close friends with people detrimental to my mental and emotional health but it keeps happening– somebody stop me please!!)

We are supposedly close. At least she thinks we are close. Because she’s able to share all her troubles with me and I’ll try to be really helpful and help her all I can. But the thing is, I’m never able to tell her anything because she’ll always turn the focus to her in the end. Say, if I’m having a bad day, I’ll be so happy to see her because yay, finally a friend in sight, and I’ll say “I’m having a bad day. This morning, blah blah blah happened…” and she’ll stop me mid sentence, saying “I’m so happy today! I had a bad day too last week and I’m still reeling in its effects though. A couple of my friends were so nice to me and…” In short, she’lll totally ignore me and shift the conversation to herself.

Every. Damned. Time.

And she wonders why I always seem happy. Hey friend?! Maybe its because you never bother to listen at all??!! I hate always being the comforter and never the “comfortee”.

"I'm always there for you, for every silly little detail of your life. 
But when I need you, you couldn't care less."

I tried to tell her this once, to finally share with her how I feel and this is how the damned conversation went.

(After she tells me about how she was sad that a friend did not talk to her for three days and was it her fault? What did she do wrong? And me saying he was probably busy, don’t think too much about it alright and blah blah blah because that’s all she’ll let me do.)

Me: Hey, you know I’m not actually not as happy as you think I am. I do have troubles too.

Her: Then why don’t you tell me about them?

Me: I always try but you always don’t listen and change the subject!

Her: Really? Maybe I didn’t know you were trying to tell me something! Maybe you should be more clear about it.

Me: Okaaaaaayyyyy…. I’ll try. So, um, these couple of days have been really bad for me…

Her: It’s been horrible for me too! You know, I had a meeting with my project group just now… (proceeds to tell me about her “misery” for the next 10 minutes and ignores me yet again)

As you can imagine, every conversation I have with her has become me screaming on the inside the whole time. The other times, she keeps telling me that she has the worst life ever when she’s actually freaking lucky. Her mother loves her and dotes on her like crazy. She hates peanuts and her family make damn sure not even half a peanut appears on her plate, as do the hundreds of other food she refuses to eat. When she has troubles, she has at least five friends who will listen to her troubles. She has never been through an illness worse than a flu, contracted any disease, is as fit as a fiddle, and aside from a false lack of confidence (she actually has tons of confidence. You need a lot of confidence to believe tons of people enjoy listening to you whine about how horrible or awesome your life is), has had a smooth sailing life. Yes she has been bullied, but even when she was, she still had at least 10 friends behind her during then, so she said after interrupting me when I was saying how horrible my childhood was, which really is terrible to the max, and you’ll know if you read my other posts. In other words, she wants everyone to think her life is horrible though at the same time, she’s trying to make sure everyone knows how terrific it is. When a friend has troubles, she pretends she can’t hear them or ignores them completely. But when she has troubles, everyone has to listen. One word– selfishness.

There are, of course, other things, but I think I’m already dedicating so much of this post to her its annoying yours truly.

Someday I’m going to find a friend who will not only share with me his/her feelings, but will let me share mine too. Someone who’ll give me advice and not interrupt me every time I say something, someone who’ll accept my deep and dark side but will not be influenced by it. Its hard. I thought I had found a good friend in that friend I mentioned above, but as usual, I suck at making the right friends, always finding the ones that’ll push me to suicidal thoughts and whatnot.

Someday, I’m gonna find a true friend.

And to all the horrible friends I’ve made before,

so many times… I guess its time for you to go.
"If your friends cause you to lie or pretend about liking or disliking, enjoying 
or loathing something. 
If you're having to change yourself for them. 
They were never friends to begin with. 
Choose them wisely."

Trust this man. He’s hell a lot smarter than I am.

And to end the “heavier” part of this post,

————————————————————————————————————————–

MC1b

I made this cake for a great friend of mine for a couple months already. She’s a Christian like me, listens to me, is genuinely sad when she can’t offer me good advice. Although I can’t yet bring myself to tell her everything, I know she’ll always be there for me, and I’ll always be there for her, even though we are miles apart.

MC2

This cake is moist, crumbly and decadent. Its milo flavoured, which really means malted chocolate flavoured.

MC9

For the text version of the recipe, click here.

Annoyed– Stupid Behaviours That Annoy Me When It Comes To Dieting

Stupid Behaviours That Annoy Me When It Comes To Dieting

1.

“What a dumb thing to do. According to my freaking retarded brain and what random non- professionals say on the internet, eating blah blah blah is not good for weight loss. 

Hey genius, guess what? Different people have different responses (as in mental responses) to different foods. For example, let’s talk about a comfort, a typical unhealthy food like say, french fries. Yep, those delicious fat-loaded, awful carbs. An asshole “friend” of mine may say, “are you crazy? you’re eating french fries while you’re trying to lose weight??”

In real life, there are two types of people. The first, after eating fries– this is the kind people typically talk about– have an urge to eat more fat loaded stuff, and thus consume more. The other kind, wanting to only satisfy their craving for fries, may only eat a large order of fries during the span of the entire day (i.e. still very few calories). The latter would definitely lose weight. In the end, its all about self control, not about eating unhealthy stuff. I myself have lost tons of weight while eating waffles (white flour), french fries, cake, instant noodles, etc.  Its science, well math… net calories consumed = calories in – calories out.

2.

It’s all the same. Comparing bodies hurts all women – in any era.

Constantly comparing, thighs, tummies, arms,…

Why don’t you guys just freaking strip and stare at each other’s bodies? Those bitches…

The only person you should compare with is yourself. Everyone’s body is different. Big boned, medium boned, small boned. Big structure, medium structure, small structure. Tall, medium, short. Different genes, that’s what. You’re bound to be skinnier or curvier in different places. There’s no point in obsessing and being jealous with what others have and how they are different from you. You’re beautiful in your own way. And what’s more, what’s the point in everyone looking the same from neck-down anyway?? That’s really scary. 

3. 

Talking about being fat and how you are dieting everyday and that you need to lose more weight.

Here’s a thought. Shut up. It’s annoying. 

4.

And the ultimate…

a skeletal human being dieting.

What the hell is wrong with you? Let’s leave that to the anorexics alright?

I don’t know about you, but do you seriously think this is healthy…?

You need help.

And some encouragement to end it all…

Are you guilty of any of those behaviors? 

Pierre Herme’s Cheesecake, Blueberryfied

I’m looking for guest posts once again! The guest post can be a recipe post, a “tips” on how to bake/cook something post or a nutrition related post. Just email it to qiting93@hotmail.com and I’ll get it up and going!😀 I’ll need as many as I can get.

In the past year, I decided to challenge myself in baking. Put aside all fear of failure. Step out of the basics. Venture into the world of gourmet desserts. Because that’s what “growing” and “learning” is supposed to be. Doing what you’ve never done before. Making most out of the money spent on buying the ingredients. Why make bread with flour when you can come up with a product that’s worth more with the same ingredients? Why spend the same amount time making everyday desserts when you can make expensive, exquisite ones? And need I remind myself of the beauty of all things gourmet? Those simple ingredients, through my hands and equipment, transform, from a blank canvas into a valuable piece of art. This is the beauty of baking. This is why I fell heads over heels in love with baking. Edible art.

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This cheesecake is easily a good example. Simple yet beautiful.

Recipe for crust is adapted from here, recipe for blueberry swirls is adapted from here, and Pierre Herme’s recipe for cheesecake is adapted from here.

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Its rich, heavy, with the just right amount of sweetness and a hint of sourness. Just small slice is adequate to satisfy a cheesecake craving.

Make it yourself for the full experience. I assure you– its good.

For the text version of the recipe, click here.

Hazelnut Opera Cake

After months of school in Taiwan, I’ve realised that there’s something scarily wrong in society. It may be the influence of the media, according to my analysis, that’s making girls feel that they have to conform to the media’s definition of what is “beauty” in order to fit into society. My skinny underweight friends in medicine complain that they are too fat while their chests are as flat as most guys and even flatter than some guys (you know, those who work out). They set weight loss goals which would turn them into skeletons while the other girls, still slim but of acceptable weight, whine about how they need to lose weight all the time. Its downright annoying, and to an extent, even disturbing. 

I can’t understand why people can’t accept their weight for what it has been the last 5 years of their lives (the same weight since past puberty).  My other friends tell me its because guys like girls that way– bony and slim– and so girls, in order to attract the guys they like, want to look skinny for them. Honestly, I doubt guys enjoy girls yapping to them about how they should lose weight without fail everyday. I believe its not the guys’ fault. True love is about loving the person for who he or she is, accepting the person for being him/herself, whether he/she is thin or fat, ugly or beautiful (everyone’s bound to get old one day). Trying to make yourself look skinnier to attract guys, or just because you want to look like a model is wrong. Its alright to believe in yourself, and to believe in God, because He will lead us to the right person.

More about “Fat Talk Free” here:

http://feminspire.com/fat-talk-free-week-changing-the-way-we-talk-and-think-about-our-bodies/

Find the “Fat Talk Free” Pledge here: http://bi3d.tridelta.org/Pledge

Alright, and what better than a calorific Hazelnut Opera Cake to end this post?

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In case you were wondering, here’s the layering of the cake components from top to bottom:

Ganache

Cake

Coffee Buttercream

Cake

Ganache

Cake

Coffee Buttercream

Cake

opera2

This recipe was adapted from Honeybee Sweets

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opera5

Recipe for Coffee French Buttercream was adapted from 萧影欢城

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For the text version of this recipe, click here: Hazelnut opera cake

Ciao!

Super Soft Mochi 超軟又Q的麻署

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One of my favourite foods is mochi. That soft, chewy texture and fragrance of glutinous rice never fails to trigger my appetite. In Taiwan, I ate some of the best mochi I’ve ever had in my life, from 一之軒. It was super soft and almost melt-in-the-mouth, with the right amount of chewiness. I decided to come up with a copycat recipe, and here it is, made healthier.

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Sorry for the short post! Enjoy the mochi!😀

Sorry for being absent!

A couple of posts ago, a few months ago, I told you I’ll be leaving Singapore. 

And I have. In the past three months, I’ve baked nothing, cooked nothing, and yet my brain crushes me with constant thoughts about baking and cooking. Sometimes creative food ideas keep popping up in my head just as I’m lying on my bed, ready to jump into dreams of living in large glasshouses with amazing built-in ovens and baking equipment, and I hop out of bed to jot them down. (Insomnia, guys. Not a good thing.) My hands are itching. I see a bun and I think, “I want to make this matcha flavored with chocolate-and-red-bean-mousse inside”. I see a slice of cake and I immediately dissect the layers in my mind and imagine how I would have made it. 

Sometimes, I think I must be crazy. But I guess its just passion, and a deep love.

Would I give up medicine for a successful career for baking? If asked the question last year, I would have said no. But today, I know for sure it is a “yes”. My parents would kill me, my friends would think I’m weird. I may make it onto the news. 

But for now the plan is this: complete my studies and then bake while I work. I know it can be done. There will be time as long as I make space for it. 

I’ll be back in Singapore soon for the holidays (about 3 weeks?) so look out for more posts soon! (Hopefully,  my baking and photography skills haven’t horrendously degraded!)

To those who have sent me emails, I’m really sorry!!! I’ve been busy with all the dumb studying and haven’t taken the time to reply. Don’t worry, I’ll never quit, even if not a single person reads my blog.